


The Persistence of Grief

by Aaronlisa



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaronlisa/pseuds/Aaronlisa
Summary: It's been a busy first week and Rupert Giles is just getting caught up on his neglected work as the school's librarian early one morning when he hears a sounds that shouldn't be heard in the library at six in the morning
Comments: 15
Kudos: 23
Collections: Summer of Giles





	The Persistence of Grief

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the 2020 Summer of Giles. It takes place after the first two episodes but before the third one. There is a minor reference to my story "Settling In," which I wrote for Summer of Giles in 2018. However, you really don't need to read that one to read this one. I only mention it because I took the idea of why Giles came to be the librarian at the high school from that story.

When Rupert Giles had accepted the position of Buffy Summers' Watcher, he hadn't really given any thought to the logistics of being a high school librarian in addition to his duties to the Council and to his Slayer. He hadn't really given much though to the fact that his position as a high school librarian - the best cover that Travers and the Council could come up with on such short notice - nor had he barely thought about the fact that he'd need to deal with teenagers. 

The few times in which he had thought about his role as a high school librarian prior to arriving in bright and sunny California, he had been more concerned about how he'd sell his back story. Why would a curator at a prestigious museum decide to slum it in a backwater provincial little town in the middle of nowhere. He had cursed Joyce Summers for deciding to move her daughter to Sunnydale. _Why couldn't she have stayed put in LA?_ The few times he may have thought about having to deal with teenagers, it was solely in the capacity of his Slayer. From the intelligence that was given to him before his flight, Sunnydale High School was a small institution with a fluctuation population between 250 and 300 students ranging from Grades Nine to Twelve. 

His knowledge of American teenagers - and to be honest all teenagers - was rather woeful. From what he could tell from the few teen movies and TV shows that had made their way to the UK, the American teenager would rather hang out at the mall, in video game arcades and the like rather than the high school library. He had been sent a packet of details about his role and he had assumed that other than a random student entering the library to collect a book or two for schoolwork, he'd be rather left alone. It was easy to decide to make the library his headquarters whilst his Slayer attended school there. 

Even his knowledge of how his Slayer would react was rather limited. Rupert had had very limited experience with Potential Slayers and he had never really met any of the active Slayers. His expectation of what to expect came from the Watchers' Diaries. And those documents point to a very distanced relationship between Watcher and Slayer, one with little room for emotions. It could be boiled down to the Watcher watches whilst the Slayer slays. In some very rare cases, typically when a Slayer had lived for a year or more, a hint of fondness and pride would come through on the yellowed pages and faded ink. Rupert had assumed that the Diaries that he had studied were the final word. 

And then he had met his Slayer and from the start he had had a difficult time in writing in his Council issued journal just the facts. His emotions came alive on the page. His initial frustration and disappointment at how she had rejected her sacred duty bleed through each and every word. It hadn't taken him long to realize that there was a good chance that the Watchers who had come before him had kept two journals - the official one that would be housed at the Council and a private one where they could write a more accurate account.

And his expectations of what it would be like at a small town high school library were dashed almost immediately on the first day. Although it still wasn't a hub of activity, more than one student had sought out the library on the first few days to check out books or to do homework and the like. It was enough to make him feel that his role as a librarian would be a full time job. 

* * * 

A week after Buffy had finally accepted her duty as _the_ Slayer and the failed Harvest, Rupert is in the library prior to the start of the academic day trying to get caught up on his library work, when he hears noises coming from the stacks. The noises are concerning because other than two cars in the parking lot - one that belongs to Flutie and the other to one of the custodial staff - there was no evidence to indicate that the school was anything but empty. There should be no staff nor student in his library. The library tends to be most active - outside of Buffy's _extracurricular_ activities - thirty minutes before classes begin for the day, during the lunch hour, and occasionally when a handful of students have a free period. 

The lack of activity is probably why he's been able to put off his duties as a librarian in favour of his duties to the Slayer and the Council. He's standing at the Counter where there are barely any weapons. A second soft snuffling sound spurs him into action. Rupert picks up the heavy cross that he has kept underneath the counter amidst the standard library paraphernalia. He cautiously makes his way to the stacks, unaware that if one of the _children_ were to see him, they'd be surprised at how his movement is more sure and more warrior like. 

It takes him a few moments before he quite literally stumbles across Willow Rosenberg. She is sitting with her back against one of the shelves, her legs pulled up against her chest with tears in her eyes. He hates himself when his first thought is to ask if this is a trick of some kind - _has she been turned?_ \- and then his second is about Buffy, even though it is apparent that Willow is very much a distraught human girl since she's partially sitting in the sunshine and not everything is about Buffy. 

"Willow?" Rupert questions her, unsure of how he should handle this situation. 

The redhead quickly wipes away any tears form her eyes and awkwardly stands. 

"I'm sorry, Mr. Giles," Willow softly says. "I came early to get caught up on some homework and I got distracted." 

"Willow it's only six in the morning," Rupert points out. 

Whilst it's clear that the girl is rather academically gifted, he finds it had to believe that any teenager would willingly be at the school that early for their studies. Although he can't quite figure out why she'd be there otherwise. 

"Ms. Browning never minded so long as I tidied up after myself," Willow tells him. "In fact, she seemed to prefer that I came earlier in the day. I guess it makes sense now since it's rather dangerous at night." 

Ms. Browning was the previous librarian who had transferred to another district, as far as away from Sunnydale as possible. He doesn't doubt Willow's words, even Flutie had mentioned in passing how clever the girl was and how he expects her to attend an ivy league school in the East or maybe even a more prestigious school. Snyder had made some dismissive remark about how it'd only be possible if she survived to graduation day. But it still doesn't explain why she was crying in the American History section of the library. 

He realizes that he can either accept her excuse and pretend that this never happened or he can ask her what is wrong. He is strongly tempted to go with the first, after all it would be the "British" way of doing things,. Sadly, he's in the United States now and one doesn't seem to be able to ignore another's emotions. Plus he has started to realize how critical it is to keep Willow and Xander close to Buffy. 

"Willow are you alright?" Rupert quietly asks. 

He reaches out towards her before he drops his hand awkwardly. He's still not sure of what is considered inappropriate when it comes to physical contact between teacher and student. The brightly coloured pamphlet that Flutie had provided him with on his first day in the package of documents had tried to define it but he had left with the vague impression that all contact, unless absolutely necessary in a dire circumstance, was largely inappropriate. 

"I'm okay," Willow replies. 

She tires to give him a smile but it comes across as a grimace and he really doesn't know how to get her to open up to him or if he even should. No matter his cover as the school librarian, his first and most important priority is Buffy. 

"If you're certain then," Rupert nervously replies. 

For a moment, he thinks that everything will be okay and then Willow seems to crumble inwardly. She clutches at her stomach as her tears begin again. 

"No, I'm not," Willow tells him. "It's Jesse you see. He's gone and even though I know why, it still hurts. And Xander refuses to talk about it or even about Jesse. And he's acting like Jesse was never our friend and he's even calling Buffy and us the _Three Musketeers_ , which is what Jesse always called the three of us. And his parents have decided to move away even though they think that he's just run away. All they care about is that his mom got a really good job offer in San Francisco and it's too good to turn down. And I cant' talk to anyone about Jesse because I am afraid that if I do, I'll let it slip what really happened. So that only leaves Xander and Buffy. And I don't want to burden Buffy about Jesse because she barely knew him and I don't want her to feel guilty that she didn't save him. So I try to pretend but she doesn't get why I am sad sometimes, especially since Xander isn't. And she just wants to talk about some cute boy or she want to go dancing and I just don't know what to do. Even my mom thinks I am overreacting because she thinks that Jesse just ran away." 

Rupert blinks as he tries to piece together who Jesse is and what Willow has quickly said. He sighs as he reaches out and gently squeezes her shoulder. He realizes that Jesse was that friend of Xander's and Willow's that was turned. He can only imagine the guilt and grief that Willow is experiencing. They are twin emotions that he is no stranger to. He may find it hard to relate to _today's teenager_ (even more psychobabble in the pamphlets from Flutie) but he can relate to Willow. 

"Come on, Willow, I have tea and biscuits in my office," Rupert tells her. "Perhaps you can talk to me about Jesse?" 

He gives her his handkerchief and gently guides her to his office. Right in this moment, he's neither teacher nor Watcher, he's a man who can understand this clever girl's pain. It would be monstrous of him to deny her some comfort as she mourns for her friend alone. 

((END))


End file.
